Hi, I'm Carmen. I believe that the more honestly we tell our own stories, the more likely someone else is to recognize themselves in them. That's the kind of writing I'm aiming for here.
I work as a bookseller and read indiscriminately, across many genres. I have a degree in chemical engineering, which I bring up because... four years of my life, you know? I live with my long-time partner and our five cats in a Romanian village that loses about 20% of its population every decade or so. My interest in healthy food has led me to regenerative agriculture and permaculture design—and these are topics I explore both with my eyes in the books and my hands in the dirt.
You'll find essays here about books that changed something in me, about my attempts to understand trauma and why am I so fucking afraid all the time?!, about gardens and plants and cats, and life in the grey area of neoruralism. Now and then, I'll wander into stories about travel, democratic education, learning autonomy, and the very complicated business of unlearning a big chunk of what I was taught.
I used to call myself Patatamus Synonymus on Medium. I needed the pseudonym to write about stuff I wouldn't have liked my family to find (it happened before). Not nasty stuff, just heavy feelings lingering from my upbringing.
I've outgrown Patatamus, the alter ego. Not that I've learned how to process all those feelings, but I'm ready to move on.
